Sorry in advance. Ranting right now

Sometimes I dont even get what the point of having any friends, especially ones that you let close to you. In my case, all I’ve learnt is that they let you down time after time. All you accomplish by letting them get close to you is allowing yourself to be hurt easier.

I honestly dont have that high of standards. I ask for very minimal things. Text me to check in, acknowledge me in public, very simplistic things that you think a friend would do naturally. This is apparently just too much though. Saying you care for someone and actually doing something about it are very separate things. You can tell me you love me all you want, but when it comes down to it, do you act on it? No. I get false promises which just lead to more heartbreak.

Maybe I’d actually let things go if you actually even bothered trying. You say you will, time and time again, but the very next night, after I’ve already given you a chance, you let me down. Again. I honestly want to be friends. I really do. But you make it unbearable. You have no consideration for me. Every excuse you make, every promise you make, anything you say is all bullshit. This then leads to more excuses.

Know what would be nice when I say I’m done? Is you actually trying to fight for the friendship. If it meant that much to you, you’d do something about it. Instead, I get a “goodbye” and “I hope you accomplish everything you want.” Know what I’d rather have? “No, we’re going to get through this and talk it out and fix it. I’m going to be a better friend.” Wow……thats really difficult. So hard to do.

Just…..honestly guys. I’m beyond my wits end and beyond frustrated. I dont know what to do anymore.